Do you secretly want to date yourself?

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Research has shown that we’re attracted to people who look like us – similar facial features inspire trust.

Such look-alike partnering happens all the time, but some who believe facial similarities are a head start to a good relationship aren’t leaving it to chance. A new dating Web site that uses facial recognition to suggest pairings based on shared facial characteristics is giving Cupid a hand.

Find Your Face Mate uses the technology of – recently acquired by Facebook – to match daters based on similar facial features.

Do you tend to date people who look like you? I’m tempted to show my friends photos of my exes to see if there’s any resemblance!


4 essential tips to get your online dating messages read

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High-volume first dater “CTS” gave us a great write up of the four things you absolutely must do to get your opening message on an online dating site read. It’s advice tailored to men, but the basic tenet applies to women, too: basically, don’t be a jerk.

Personalize it.

Copying-and-pasting an introduction to dozens of women may make you feel like you’re optimizing your time, but a generic message is much more likely to be immediately deleted by the recipient. However, if you take the time to reference one or two elements of someone’s profile – in a complimentary way, of course – your chances of getting a response increase dramatically.

It’s not an autobiography.

You wouldn’t spend the majority of a first date soliloquizing about yourself, so don’t monopolize an introductory message with your life story. Give enough interesting personal details to spark your recipient’s interest in your profile.

No dirty laundry.

Don’t talk about previous relationships, especially in a negative light. If your first impression is slagging off your ex, you’ll come off bitter and obsessed. No one wants to think that the next person you’ll be savaging in an email is them.

Write like a respectful adult.

Don’t call a woman “honey” or “babe” in your first message. It’s too familiar and make it seem like you’re just copying and pasting. Textspeak like “lol” and its ilk sounds like you don’t care enough to write in complete sentences – or that you’re a kid!

What’s the worst first message you’ve gotten on an online dating site? Mine involved speculation on the chemical composition of my breasts.

Are you an “Ivy League” dater?

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When two former Goldman Sachs investment bankers started a dating service for Harvard-educated professionals, it was considered a way to hook up with sugar daddies.

But after a pivot, HarvardDate has become IvyDate, and there’s no longer a requirement to have an expensive degree hanging on your wall in order to join:

Anyone can register for free on the site, no matter if or where they went to school. The catch is that the IvyDate team runs users through an admissions process, creating a community that’s “as selective as the Ivy League, without being limited to the Ivy League,” as Meric states.

So what kinds of qualities are IvyDaters looking for? Intellectual curiosity, love of learning, drive and determination, according to their FAQ.

While you can’t browse profiles, the IvyDate staff will send you five “hand selected” matches a week. It’s free to sign up, respond to messages, and send “Smiles”, but if you want to send substantive messages to any of your matches, you’ll have to pony up to the tune of $30 to $50 per month, depending on the length of your subscription.

IvyDate is focusing on New York City, Boston, and Los Angeles by holding events in these cities for their 30,000 members.

Would you pay for a dating site where you didn’t get to see who’s available beforehand? And would you limit yourself to only the ambitious types that IvyDate is seeking to aggregate?

Online dating alert: the new phishing scam to avoid

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“Phishing” may sound like a nice way to spend a day on a boat, but it’s actually a form of email trickery to get you to reveal your personal information to criminals. Most commonly, you’ll receive an email that purports to be from a real company, asking you to click on a link and confirm your password, social security number, or other data. The scammers can then use your password to attempt to break into your account on other sites, including banks or other services and infect your computer with malware.

According to Naked Security, there’s a new phishing scam that uses branding to convince people to click on a link to “resolve a security problem” and enter personal information:

Once you click the link, the site really doesn’t look much like

images courtesy Naked Security

The ultimate lesson in this is not to click on links in an unsolicited email, no matter how familiar the sender seems. If you receive an email like this, you’re better off opening a new browser tab and going to for more information, or to contact their support staff.

Another dating site password leak…

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This time from eHarmony, it appears:

“After investigating reports of compromised passwords, we have found that a small fraction of our user base has been affected,” eHarmony said in a blog post. “We are continuing to investigate but would like to provide the following actions we are taking to protect our members.”

Via Apparently there were 1.5 million passwords leaked.

Between the MilitarySingles password leak, and the LinkedIn leak that occurred simultaneous with this one, are you taking more care with your passwords? I’ve started using a trick I learned on Lifehacker to create unique passwords for every site using a combination of letters from the name of that site – I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to change all my passwords again!

How many strikes until you’re done with online dating?

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In the Los Angeles Times, Nicole Christopher writes that after three (admittedly awful) online dating experiences, she’s sworn it off:

He stood me up a second time but called six hours later. That prompted me to start digging. I found out that Leigh didn’t live where he said he did. He wasn’t technically divorced, and “Leigh” was one of several names he used. I didn’t know who I was dating. I was done.

What would have to happen to completely turn you off of online dating?

Speed dating comes to mobile – on your schedule!

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We’re glad to see another app that bypasses the potential for endless online back-and-forth in favor of bringing people together in real life to find out if they’re truly compatible:

MiniDates joins Cheek’d and Coffee Meets Bagel in pushing a real-life connection much harder than a virtual one, by simply scheduling dates (or MiniDates) for you based on your schedule and suitor preferences. No messaging, no browsing, just a real-life blind date at a neutral, public location.


Interestingly enough, MiniDates is a mobile-friendly HTML5 app, not a native mobile app for the iPhone or Android. How this will affect functionality is up for debate, but one commenter at TechCrunch has already pointed out the screening effect of excluding Internet Explorer users.


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